I started playing soccer again late last year to get fit, make friends, and boost my confidence. Instead, I feel miserable after every practice because I am not as skilled or fit as everyone else.
I have been doing extra work outside training but haven’t seen improvement. I rarely get picked for the team, and when I do, I’m mostly on the bench, which I understand because I’m not at their level.
I also haven’t connected with the other players. They are nice but already have their own friendships. If I didn’t show up, I doubt anyone would notice. I am struggling to make those connections.
I don’t want to quit, but I also don’t want to keep feeling this way. Has anyone else gone through this and come out the other side?
Can you join a lower division team that matches your skill level? I started playing volleyball as an adult and was terrible for a long time. I also did extra practice, but what helped most was finding a team that fit my level. I enjoyed it more without worrying about holding the team back. Over time, we all improved together and now play in a higher division.
Is there someone on the team you feel comfortable asking for some coaching?
You can work on fitness independently by practicing sprints and aiming to run easily for 60 minutes. If you have a sturdy wall, practice passing and ball control with wall passes at different distances.
Improving at soccer alone is tough, and I understand being on a team where everyone is more skilled. Besides improving, you might consider joining a less competitive team where the skill gap won’t affect your enjoyment as much. League organizers could help with that.
Thanks for the advice! My team’s already in the lowest division , but they’re pretty good. The next step down is casual 5-a-side, but girls’ teams are hard to find.
Thanks. Honestly, I don’t feel close enough to anyone on the team to ask for extra coaching or a kickabout. I think I jumped in too quickly and should have started with something more casual.
I need to work more on my fitness, so extra sprints are a good idea.
A women’s 11-a-side team, even in the lowest division, is naturally more competitive. I’d suggest looking at rec leagues with 5 or 6 a side, where you will find more beginners or people returning to the game, plus more even playing time and a social atmosphere.
You could also try adult soccer clinics to improve your skills. And I agree with others, work on your fitness, especially stamina and sprinting, to make a big difference on the field.
I recommend using this summer to train and improve on your own. I experienced something similar in my freshman year.
Before sophomore tryouts, I dedicated the summer, about three months, to working on my fitness and skills. I did resistance band workouts at home five days a week and practiced drills. As a result, when it came time for setter drills, my improved upper body strength and speed made me stand out. I was named setter and captain, even though I had been overlooked the previous year.
The takeaway? Take time to train on your own; they will notice your improved fitness and skills when you return!
I was in your position nine months ago when I joined rugby. I was the weakest and slowest on the team, but I’ve made significant improvements since then. While I’m not a starter yet, my teammates recognize my progress.
First, frustration is normal; it’s tough to watch others do things effortlessly while you struggle. Connecting with teammates was hard for me at first, and my lack of skills likely played a role. Although I’m shy, basic socializing helped, so I recommend you try that too. If the team vibe is not right, remember you are not stuck; it’s okay to switch teams if you’ve tried connecting and it’s not working.
Next, improving your fitness takes time, especially when keeping up with fitter players. It is great that you are putting in extra work outside practice, so keep it up, but be ready for a slow process.
Lastly, set a timeline for evaluating your situation. Newcomers to team sports often face challenges, and many don’t realize that because they have been athletes their whole lives. Be kind to yourself and stay positive!
That was my plan A: to learn the ropes this season, build my skills over the summer, and push forward next season. However, right now, I feel so deflated that I am starting to question my commitment for next season.
Thank you for your kind comment; I relate to what you said. I have a couple of weeks before the next games, so I’ll regroup and train extra. Even a decent practice might help me get back on track. I tend to be my own worst critic, but I’ll work on overcoming that.
It’s giving queer✨ lol! I am in a similar situation but haven’t joined a club or team yet. I would love to know how you gained the confidence to do that! So maybe I’m not in the same boat?
Anyway, like someone else mentioned, it would be helpful to join a club that matches your skill level. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. They have been playing for a while, and you’re just starting, there’s no need to be hard on yourself!
My team is on a break too since our friendly season ended. I completely relate, I used to get upset over struggling in practice, and it would affect me until the next one. Don’t let that happen! Remember, every day you don’t give up is a win, even if it doesn’t feel like it.
I played when I was younger, but life got in the way, and I couldn’t join a team for years. I go to the gym regularly but got tired of doing it solo, so I found a local team, emailed them, and showed up to practice. I was nervous at first, but I pushed myself to give it a try.
To make connections, do they go out for drinks after games or practice? Is there someone you feel comfortable asking to join? That’s what I did, I just asked if I could tag along when they made plans. Often, “cliquey” groups don’t exclude on purpose; they just don’t think to include others. You can easily overcome this by inviting yourself!
, but they’re pretty good. The next step down is casual 5-a-side, but girls’ teams are hard to find.